Much of our childhood is based on a list of Dos and Don’ts. We live through tensed quarters of internal assessments, quarterly exams, yearly exams, assignments, projects, results, and ranks. As soon as any child gets their exam results, all the relatives call the kid’s parents to know how they have performed. And that knowing only leads to praises, comparisons, and relativity of performance. Kids who get lesser marks feel bad, so much so that they even feel ashamed in talking to their friends or going to school on a subsequent day.

Remember the previous generation of childhood? Nowadays parents still have learnt to value the co-curricular activities and even the schools provide appreciation, acknowledgement, and motivation to the kids performing well in non-academic activities. But there was a time, which most of us can relate to, when the other talents in the children were not much valued. Most of the children were even forced to give up on what they were naturally good at, were made to suppress their natural creative instinct, and that was when the parents and teachers had gone against natural creative forces in the young children.

Though this was a thing of past and now parents are rather involved in making their kids an all-rounder, having learnt music, dance, theatre, outdoor and indoor games, different skills, painting and whatnot, yet we need to ensure it further if we are still not suppressing any natural instinct and creative energy of our kids.

The entire parenting and learning process needs the right thought and intention in place. It depends on how we look at the small kids. Are they a commodity for us, a future reserve or resource, a depiction of our genes — what are they? What do we want from them and what do we expect them to be? Are we looking at them in respect to ourselves, small little bundles of energy that are supposed to bring fulfilment, love, and respect in our lives along with an inheritable sense of belonging and responsibility?

We should look at children as seeds in their dormancy. We put seeds in nutrient soil, water them, give them sunlight, look after their growth, trim the branches, kill pests and weeds or other harmful organisms that tend to get stuck on them, and add manure to these from time to time. These plants start bearing flowers, with a sweet fragrance. On growing up further, they even start bearing fruits. The fruits take time to ripe. We taste the fruit then which tells a lot about the plantation and nurturing of that plant or tree.

Every single child is like a seed. What these children turn into, is a reflection of how they have been brought up, loved, protected, and nurtured. When a plant or a tree does not turn out well on growing up, we realize it is because there had been a loophole somewhere in its care. With proper and favourable conditions, the seeds would grow into beautiful plants. Same goes with the kids. How the kids are turning up is the responsibility of parents and teachers. If they are unhealthy, unhappy, irritated, frustrated, distressed, not doing well, disinterested, etc., it is because they are not being given the favourable conditions under which they can grow up more healthy and joyous.

However, this is where we start making mistakes. We start blaming the kids for who they are, how they are behaving, what they have been doing wrong. We start criticizing them, unloving them, not listening to them. When kids tell their problems, we tend to take it up as some kind of excuse. We expect an utter understanding, cooperation, coordination, and acceptance from a mere few-years old person who doesn’t know a thing about the world and its system.

And in this blunt directionless criticism and scolding, we make the kids start suppressing their inner voice, their energy, their potential, their spirit, their creativity, their talent, and their uniqueness. Merely playing a musical instrument and making a painting can be a skill, but what melody one plays and how one plays it reflects the creativity. There is a melody, a song that belongs to that kid, which no parent or no teacher can teach them. It is their song, coming from within, unique to anything else you have ever heard before, touching your heart, bringing peace to your mind, making you forget what time or day it is. This can only happen when you stop suppressing the natural creative energy and instincts of your kids.