Who doesn’t want their kid to be happy? Of course, we all want them to be happy. We all want them to be so happy in life that we leave no stone unturned to create a kind of life for them where they will have to face no problem, no obstacle, no inadequacy, no complaints, and no disappointments. But whatever we are doing for them, is it indeed bringing them happiness and will ensure that they will stay happy for the rest of their lives?

We are enhancing their potential, making them skillful, knowledgeable, and talented so that they will never have to face materialistic inadequacy in their life. We are making their life resourceful not only from our end but also by making them capable enough to ensure the richness and prosperity of their future life.

But here we are talking about happiness. Happiness is not materialistic or else every rich person in the world would have been happy today. Happiness is also not about living without resources and without fulfilling the needs otherwise every poor person in the world would have been happy. Happiness is not even about achieving your goal of excellence as we have seen examples of people who stay depressed or commit suicide even after achieving the best kind of successes. Recently, even an Olympic winner has died by suicide. We were also moved by the death of an actor recently. There are a lot of such examples around us. Happiness is a feeling which anybody can feel in spite of anything. What exactly is this happiness then? And how can we ensure that our children stay happy as well?

Happiness is an art, a feeling of satisfaction and abundance. A feeling that makes you realize that you are blessed. It is a feeling of peace. Happiness indicates a calm mind and a joyous heart. Happiness reflects love and acceptance. A happy person gives love. A happy mind also ensures a healthy body.

Despite all our efforts, the kids often complain about their parents. This hurts the parents. Parents don’t want to hear any complaints on parenting from their children for whom they have compromised all their life, dreams, and desires. And yet, they see their kids wearing a sad face, carrying a bad feeling, having teary eyes, angry words, frustrated thoughts, dejected hope, and a bag full of disappointments. This image hurts. Seeing our kids this way hurts. It makes us feel so bad that we turn it into anger towards the kids.

We need to understand that needs and happiness are two different things. To be happy is an art. And once anybody understands this art, they can be happy throughout their life and will happily deal with any problems or obstacles with a happy face. We do want that, don’t we?

Do you know the biggest mistake we have been committing for our whole lives? While on one hand, we want to be happy, on the other hand, we have made our minds to believe that happiness is a sin. We have given our minds enough excuses to not stay happy. And this is what we teach our kids subconsciously too. While we do want them to be happy, we teach them that happiness is a sin.

Where have we been going wrong? We measure happiness. We believe that happiness needs to be earned, and it comes at a price. Whereas, the truth is that happiness exists for free, and it is your own to claim. We believe that happiness can be given, that we are held responsible for another person’s happiness. You try to make your parents happy. You make your boss happy, spouse happy, neighbours happy, relatives happy, and now you try to make your kids happy. You want to own how you make the other person feel. You want their gratitude in return. And then in return, you want them to make you happy too. You think happiness is an exchange, as if you are getting the currency exchanged from another person. Happiness is not a barter system.

We never focus on making ourselves happy. We don’t do the things that make us happy. We think that making ourselves happy is the most selfish thing to do. And even when you ever do something for yourself, people around you feel offended, and you let them dictate you how your actions ought to be like. Whenever you make yourself happy, you also get filled with guilt. And then you teach the same thing to your kids. You don’t like it when they do things for themselves. You want them to get happy on receiving that toy you brought for them, or when you cooked their favourite meal, or when you took them on a trip. Though these things certainly bring happiness, your kids get dependent on you. Now every time they feel sad or want to feel happy, they wait for the other person to make them happy. Because by themselves, they can’t just open the window feel the breeze and do nothing else for a moment. When they do this, you remind them to study or run some errand. They can’t go out in the rain and play because you remind them that they definitely will get sick.

Here are some very easy tips for you. Don’t ever make your child feel guilty for thinking about themselves or doing something which makes them happy. Let them do nothing for a while. Don’t always fill their time with activities. When you see that they have seized the moment, totally enjoying in themselves and have forgotten about time, loosen up time restrictions for them. Join them, laugh with them, play with them, and if needed, get dirty with them. Ask them what makes them happy. Make them realize that happiness can be found anywhere. If they ever feel sad, ask them to look around because maybe, happiness is playing hide-n-seek with them. Happiness is inside them, and they should know it. The sooner, the better.